There are all types of freedom. Just read the words penned by Emma Lazarus in 1883, 

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

As a Jewish American woman in the late 19th century, her freedoms were restricted both as a woman and a Jew. Yet her gift with words are with us 134 years later. 

Drugs, pornography, materialism, love of money, desire for the “perfect” body/face etc are just a few of the things which limit Americans’ freedom. I don’t have the space to broach the subject of poverty, sexism, war etc. 

What I forget many times, is that these bonds aren’t always visible. I can’t see the struggles others face anymore than they can see mine. The mental abuse I endured for the sake of love and my belief that vows are meant to be kept created many struggles in my life. It has been especially difficult these past four years. I’ve prayed that if reconciliation isn’t part of God’s plan, to remove the desire for it in my heart. This next comment may sound like I don’t trust God. I do but I struggle like everyone so I was surprised when one day I realized I hadn’t recently felt any desire for reconciliation. My eyes have been opened to the depths of connection I was missing in my marriage.

I feel a sense of relief. I still yearn for the financial security and the idea of an unbroken family, but I understand now God has something better planned for me. It may or may not be marriage again, but whatever it is, it will be good.

4 thoughts on “Freedom

  1. Oh Dede, never let go of your desire for the best in your life. Yes, you have had to go through hell realizing that sometimes what we want — and deserve — in our lives isn’t always possible, but I so admire how you have gained perspective and even, I think, a fair amount of peace with your situation. I believe better things lie ahead for you, and the way to bring those things into your life is by working toward creating the best world for yourself, inside and out.

  2. I stand with you having been through an abuse marriage that lasted nine years. I thought during these years that if only I could help him to get the education he needed ( on top of the former fine one he already had) then he would be happy and love me. It just got worse and my children have suffered. The Lord Himself helped out 27 years ago. He is still building me up. Some of my posts describe this in the category “family matters” in the header

  3. Having seen abusive marriage up close and personal and know what brokenness it leaves behind and passes down to future generations. Hang in there God has a plan for your life.

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